When Preschoolers Are Tempted to Choose Wrong: Teaching Them Where to Turn
Preschoolers are learning new things every day—including what to do when they make a mistake.
Sometimes a child knows they did something wrong but is tempted to hide it, deny it, or blame someone else. In that moment, the child is learning more than whether they will get in trouble. They are learning where to turn when they make a wrong choice.
Do I hide what happened?
Do I blame someone else?
Or can I tell the truth, ask for help, and make things right?
When the Easy Choice Isn't the Right Choice
Imagine a preschooler accidentally breaks something while playing.
They look at the broken item and suddenly realize:
“Uh-oh.”
They may quickly look for someone else to blame.
“It wasn't me!”
“He did it!”
“She knocked it over!”
This response can come from wanting to avoid consequences. Preschoolers are still developing the ability to stop, think about what happened, and take responsibility for their actions.
These moments give parents and teachers an opportunity to teach a heart skill that goes beyond simply saying, “Don't lie.”
We can teach children:
When you make a wrong choice, don't hide. Turn toward the truth.
❤ Teaching Children Where to Turn
When a child is tempted to blame someone else, try slowing the moment down.
Instead of immediately focusing on punishment, help the child think about what happened.
You might say:
“Something happened. Let's stop and figure it out.”
“You don't have to hide your mistake from me.”
“You can tell me what really happened.”
“When we make a mistake, we can tell the truth and ask for help.”
The goal is to help children understand that telling the truth is a safe place to begin making things right.
Moxie's Mistake
In the companion reel, Moxie Broke It… and Wants to Blame Someone Else, Moxie finds herself in a situation many preschoolers can recognize.
She broke something—and instead of immediately telling the truth, she wants to find someone else to blame.
This gives children an opportunity to watch a familiar preschool situation unfold and think about what Moxie could do differently.
Moxie Broke It… and Wants to Blame Someone Else
After watching, you might ask:
What happened to Moxie?
Was she tempted to tell the truth or blame someone else?
What could Moxie do when she makes a mistake?
Who can she turn to for help?
What could she do to make things right?
📖 A Reminder About Truth
Proverbs 12:22 (NIV) says:
“The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.”
For young children, this isn't just about learning that lying is wrong.
It's also an opportunity to begin understanding the value of being truthful and trustworthy, even when telling the truth feels difficult.
Children need repeated opportunities to practice this.
They will make mistakes.
They will sometimes try to avoid responsibility.
They may blame a sibling, a friend, or even an imaginary culprit!
But each of these moments can become a teaching opportunity.
From Blame to Problem-Solving
When a preschooler makes a mistake, we can help them move through a simple process:
STOP.Slow down before reacting.
TELL THE TRUTH.Say what really happened.
MAKE IT RIGHT.Ask, “What can we do now?”
This teaches children that a mistake doesn't have to be the end of the story.
There is a way forward.
Instead of teaching children to fear making mistakes, we can teach them to turn toward truth, ask for help, and take responsibility.
That is a heart skill worth practicing—one everyday moment at a time.
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