Are We Teaching Children to Compete for First Place or to Develop a Humble Heart?
As early childhood educators, we have many opportunities to teach children how to take turns, share materials, celebrate accomplishments, and work together. But have we considered whether our classroom practices are teaching children to value being first more than developing a humble heart?
From line leaders to classroom games, children often hear messages about winning, being the best, and getting chosen first. While friendly competition can be enjoyable, we must be intentional about what we are teaching children to value. Are we helping them understand that their worth does not depend on being first, or are we unintentionally encouraging them to seek recognition and approval?
Humility begins with what we model and reinforce in our classrooms.
Teaching Children That Greatness Begins With Serving Others
In Matthew 23:11, Jesus teaches that the greatest among us will be our servant.
“The greatest among you will be your servant.”
This challenges the world's idea that greatness comes from being first, receiving attention, or having the most recognition.
For young children, this truth can be introduced through everyday classroom experiences. A child can learn that helping a friend, sharing a favorite toy, waiting patiently, or encouraging another child are meaningful ways to demonstrate humility.
These moments may not earn applause or a prize, but they provide valuable opportunities for children to practice putting others before themselves.
What Are We Teaching Through Our Classroom Routines?
Consider the messages children receive during everyday activities:
Line leaders: Do children believe they are more important when they are first, or can they learn to serve the class in any position?
Classroom games: Do we celebrate only the winners, or do we also recognize kindness, teamwork, and encouragement?
Shared materials: Do we help children understand that taking turns is an opportunity to consider others, even when waiting is difficult?
Classroom responsibilities: Do children see helping as a chore to avoid or as a meaningful way to contribute to their classroom community?
Model Humility Before You Expect It
Children learn from what we say, but they also learn from what we demonstrate. When educators admit mistakes, listen respectfully, share responsibility, and celebrate another person's success, they give children a living example of humility.
Instead of always encouraging children for being the fastest, smartest, or first to finish, we can acknowledge actions that reflect consideration for others.
Try saying:
“You waited patiently while your friend had a turn.”
“You noticed your friend needed help and offered to help.”
“You were happy for your friend, even though you didn't win.”
“You helped our classroom by putting the materials away.”
These statements help children recognize that their choices matter and that serving others is valuable.
Help Children Practice a Different Kind of Greatness
Developing a humble heart takes time, repetition, and guidance. Preschoolers are still learning to manage disappointment, wait for what they want, and recognize the needs of others. We should not expect perfection, but we can use challenging moments as opportunities to teach.
When a child becomes upset about not being first, we can acknowledge the disappointment while gently guiding the child toward patience, kindness, and consideration for others.
We can ask ourselves: Are we simply managing classroom behavior, or are we helping children develop character that will guide their choices beyond the classroom?
Our influence reaches beyond the activity of the day. Through intentional teaching and consistent modeling, we can help children begin to understand that greatness is not about standing above others. It is about learning how to serve, encourage, and care for them.
🎬 Companion Reel: Are We Teaching Children to Compete for First Place?
A Reflection for Early Childhood Educators
This week, take a closer look at your classroom routines. Notice how often children compete for recognition, how you respond when someone is not chosen first, and which behaviors receive the most recognition from you.
Ask yourself:
Am I encouraging children to value winning more than kindness?
Do my classroom routines provide opportunities to practice humility?
Am I modeling the servant-hearted example Jesus taught?
How can I celebrate children's growth in serving others rather than focusing only on individual achievement?
Our responsibility is not simply to help children succeed. It is to help them grow in character.
When we intentionally teach humility, we help children discover that they do not have to be first to be valuable, recognized to make a difference, or the winner to show greatness.
May our classrooms become places where children learn that true greatness is reflected not in how often they get to be first, but in how they learn to care for others.
Let us teach children to develop humble hearts, following the example Jesus gave us: “The greatest among you will be your servant.” — Matthew 23:11 (NIV)
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